On allowing yourself to be seen
I have been contemplating how much other people’s opinions of me still color my experience and how I choose to show up in the world.
Although I have come far in my path of liberation, I am still seeing the places where I limit my expression and hide my soul; so as not to upset or threaten others and avoid judgment. Essentially, I make myself small for fear of not being loved and being cast out of the tribe.
Even though I know quite well that any form of love and acceptance I receive through the facade I choose to interface with the world is unreal and utterly unsatisfactory.
Despite failing to hold when subjected to rational assessment, some part of my being seems to have bought into the idea that I am getting myself a good deal by exchanging my authentic voice, true essence, sense of wonder, creativity, wisdom and innocence for false acceptance by others, false sense of safety and belonging.
I know that the fear of exile is deeply programmed into my mind’s operating system as someone born into the 21st century consensus reality, is inherited through my DNA and further supported by early childhood experiences of being encouraged to conform to the society’s arbitrary rules. So, I do have compassion for the parts of me that are still scared to allow me fully emerge, trying to protect me from imaginary harm.
However, that does not mean I allow them to run me, just like having compassion for everyone else around me for where they are at does not mean I mold and shape my expression to suit them.
Consider this your invitation to take a look at the places where you give your power away by valuing others’ opinions of you more than who you truly are and what you truly stand for.
